Something is cooking again....

Wait for your next episode....

is it possible? Nostalgia...

"Bring back the Good Ol' days! Nothing feels right, nothing ever goes my way..."

Ahhhh I wish God would send me a sign that says "It is possible my dear, just be patient..."

I feel so nostalgic about last year sometimes, and I just want to live some of it again.... So pure...

uuhhh baby's got a secret...

Ok previous blog I said that I didnt want to say why I feel so happy inside, but the truth is... That is a combination of a few things... First David took me out of the hole... But then, the cherry on the top was... Chan chan chan!! And the Winner isssssssss: Yes! I don't want to say it! Hahaha cuz I feel shy! But yeah is someone from the past...(last year?)...

Ok so now is my turn to talk about this guy... First of all, this person is... the person that made me happy the most in my whole life.... I wonder If I ever will live that again? and his words still there in my mind every time I meet someone, he said "Now you know what is possible, so never settle for less, (you've set up a bench mark?) and I wont settle for less either..." and thats what i've been trying to do... but is hard... and I almost settled for less lol... I don't think is possible to meet and live something like that again. I was happy, satisfied and full inside in every sense of the word to the fullest/most or whatever, but the days and the thing were beautiful and awesome (most of them)....

Anyways... What I was going to say WAS, that this person is so fucking positive, omg every time i talk to him he makes my hyper and I want to do everything and all at the same time, I visualize the future instantly (my future) and everything looks perfect and successful. Dude I swear this is every time I talk to him, he is sooo contagious, I wonder if its just the image I have from him? Well, he also helped finish my depression fo sho and he gave me something that is making changes on meeee (for the best)... He makes me hunger for success and makes me see that it could be possible... I hope...

On the other side of the coin I just discovered that this other other person is like the other dude from the past, takes my energy away and soon stops making me shine... so I really feel the contrast and the weight... These makes me brighter and shine to the fullest, and these other ones bring me down, and I still try to fool myself... Ay ay ayyy Sarai, "When you gonna learn (chiquita)?" hahaha and those guys remind me of another song that says "Cuz I've got you to leeeeeet me dowwwn" (from the strokes)...

Today I reaffirmed that, he brings me down like the other one... I don't understand why I was trying to force it so much these past months with that other other person... Seriously... It was wrong in so many ways, and I'm pretty convinced that he didn't like me that much, and that he is and will be... Very selfish... Even though that "thing" was good sometimes... Maybe the only good thing about the mix but wrong at the same time... Now that I think about it... Everything started so weird... Everything was so weird... and still being weird... Why? Stills bothers a little bit though, I wont lie, something is left and I dont like the feeling...

So this is my other new entry!

On the other sideeeee (lol, there's always a song with most of my frases! Why?? hahah some people hate that =P) apart from being and felling F.A.T... I feel like happy for no apparent reason... Well, I'm lying I know the exact reason I just don't want to confess to anyone bcuz I pretty much know what everyone is going to say....

So... A few weeks ago I was like really depressed, I didn't feel so depressed like that since 2006.... But I truly believe that God send the correct people in the right moments....

Long story short, I was feeling sad, fat and ugly... Unloved and disappointed but God sent me David again to open my eyes and pick me up cuz I was really down... And he did it in the sweetest way possible! and then I remembered why he is so important and significant to me...

He opened my eyes again...It is so horrible what it is happening to him now but he stills there fighting, and he said that he is not giving up... He stills the sweetest person (except one thing lol) stubborn and smart... Always giving me the smile... I know I told him several times that he is so special to me but i think he still doesn't know.... Both crying like babies we comforted each other remembering the past, what we felt and feel for each other and he also reminded me why I'm so special and beautiful to him, and how he even from the distance knows and notices every little detail, I havent seen anything like it yet... I'm very thankful for that... And I should be very grateful for my life and my health.... Me and him will always be connected, not only because we both have the same tattoo, but because I know we were really big and real for each other, more real than the real thing, lol...

If there's someone reading this is probably disgust by now, lol but this is my blog and I write what I want, suck it! =P we will love many other people in our life, but we will always be in each other's heart forever.... Even though we are not talking again (hahaha yes, I got upset) I know he knows what the deal is...

the sweetest thing!

For anyone that wants to see them here...

the stars are a copy from each other, same size, but different artist of course... mine added "his touch" with the dots cuz he thought it was gonna look better... asshole...

So this is my new entry

I think everybody knows.... But I feel so fat! lol and I just discovered that I gained more weight! (shame on me) But I have a new plan for that.... I don't know what was going on a month ago that I gained so much weight and I still have it even though I'm cooking more... I can't wear my favorite jeans and my dear shirt!.. And I just discovered that because i went to American Eagle the other day and the dress that I loved (and very expensive) was so fucking gorgeous, then I decided to try on and I was able to get in a size 6! can you believe it!!! SIZE 6!!!??? I was wooowwoww! Most of my dresses from there are 0 or XS, or maximum 2.... but 6!?? I refuse to wear a 6...