uuhhh baby's got a secret...

Ok previous blog I said that I didnt want to say why I feel so happy inside, but the truth is... That is a combination of a few things... First David took me out of the hole... But then, the cherry on the top was... Chan chan chan!! And the Winner isssssssss: Yes! I don't want to say it! Hahaha cuz I feel shy! But yeah is someone from the past...(last year?)...

Ok so now is my turn to talk about this guy... First of all, this person is... the person that made me happy the most in my whole life.... I wonder If I ever will live that again? and his words still there in my mind every time I meet someone, he said "Now you know what is possible, so never settle for less, (you've set up a bench mark?) and I wont settle for less either..." and thats what i've been trying to do... but is hard... and I almost settled for less lol... I don't think is possible to meet and live something like that again. I was happy, satisfied and full inside in every sense of the word to the fullest/most or whatever, but the days and the thing were beautiful and awesome (most of them)....

Anyways... What I was going to say WAS, that this person is so fucking positive, omg every time i talk to him he makes my hyper and I want to do everything and all at the same time, I visualize the future instantly (my future) and everything looks perfect and successful. Dude I swear this is every time I talk to him, he is sooo contagious, I wonder if its just the image I have from him? Well, he also helped finish my depression fo sho and he gave me something that is making changes on meeee (for the best)... He makes me hunger for success and makes me see that it could be possible... I hope...

On the other side of the coin I just discovered that this other other person is like the other dude from the past, takes my energy away and soon stops making me shine... so I really feel the contrast and the weight... These makes me brighter and shine to the fullest, and these other ones bring me down, and I still try to fool myself... Ay ay ayyy Sarai, "When you gonna learn (chiquita)?" hahaha and those guys remind me of another song that says "Cuz I've got you to leeeeeet me dowwwn" (from the strokes)...

Today I reaffirmed that, he brings me down like the other one... I don't understand why I was trying to force it so much these past months with that other other person... Seriously... It was wrong in so many ways, and I'm pretty convinced that he didn't like me that much, and that he is and will be... Very selfish... Even though that "thing" was good sometimes... Maybe the only good thing about the mix but wrong at the same time... Now that I think about it... Everything started so weird... Everything was so weird... and still being weird... Why? Stills bothers a little bit though, I wont lie, something is left and I dont like the feeling...