Something is cooking again....

Wait for your next episode....

is it possible? Nostalgia...

"Bring back the Good Ol' days! Nothing feels right, nothing ever goes my way..."

Ahhhh I wish God would send me a sign that says "It is possible my dear, just be patient..."

I feel so nostalgic about last year sometimes, and I just want to live some of it again.... So pure...

uuhhh baby's got a secret...

Ok previous blog I said that I didnt want to say why I feel so happy inside, but the truth is... That is a combination of a few things... First David took me out of the hole... But then, the cherry on the top was... Chan chan chan!! And the Winner isssssssss: Yes! I don't want to say it! Hahaha cuz I feel shy! But yeah is someone from the past...(last year?)...

Ok so now is my turn to talk about this guy... First of all, this person is... the person that made me happy the most in my whole life.... I wonder If I ever will live that again? and his words still there in my mind every time I meet someone, he said "Now you know what is possible, so never settle for less, (you've set up a bench mark?) and I wont settle for less either..." and thats what i've been trying to do... but is hard... and I almost settled for less lol... I don't think is possible to meet and live something like that again. I was happy, satisfied and full inside in every sense of the word to the fullest/most or whatever, but the days and the thing were beautiful and awesome (most of them)....

Anyways... What I was going to say WAS, that this person is so fucking positive, omg every time i talk to him he makes my hyper and I want to do everything and all at the same time, I visualize the future instantly (my future) and everything looks perfect and successful. Dude I swear this is every time I talk to him, he is sooo contagious, I wonder if its just the image I have from him? Well, he also helped finish my depression fo sho and he gave me something that is making changes on meeee (for the best)... He makes me hunger for success and makes me see that it could be possible... I hope...

On the other side of the coin I just discovered that this other other person is like the other dude from the past, takes my energy away and soon stops making me shine... so I really feel the contrast and the weight... These makes me brighter and shine to the fullest, and these other ones bring me down, and I still try to fool myself... Ay ay ayyy Sarai, "When you gonna learn (chiquita)?" hahaha and those guys remind me of another song that says "Cuz I've got you to leeeeeet me dowwwn" (from the strokes)...

Today I reaffirmed that, he brings me down like the other one... I don't understand why I was trying to force it so much these past months with that other other person... Seriously... It was wrong in so many ways, and I'm pretty convinced that he didn't like me that much, and that he is and will be... Very selfish... Even though that "thing" was good sometimes... Maybe the only good thing about the mix but wrong at the same time... Now that I think about it... Everything started so weird... Everything was so weird... and still being weird... Why? Stills bothers a little bit though, I wont lie, something is left and I dont like the feeling...

So this is my other new entry!

On the other sideeeee (lol, there's always a song with most of my frases! Why?? hahah some people hate that =P) apart from being and felling F.A.T... I feel like happy for no apparent reason... Well, I'm lying I know the exact reason I just don't want to confess to anyone bcuz I pretty much know what everyone is going to say....

So... A few weeks ago I was like really depressed, I didn't feel so depressed like that since 2006.... But I truly believe that God send the correct people in the right moments....

Long story short, I was feeling sad, fat and ugly... Unloved and disappointed but God sent me David again to open my eyes and pick me up cuz I was really down... And he did it in the sweetest way possible! and then I remembered why he is so important and significant to me...

He opened my eyes again...It is so horrible what it is happening to him now but he stills there fighting, and he said that he is not giving up... He stills the sweetest person (except one thing lol) stubborn and smart... Always giving me the smile... I know I told him several times that he is so special to me but i think he still doesn't know.... Both crying like babies we comforted each other remembering the past, what we felt and feel for each other and he also reminded me why I'm so special and beautiful to him, and how he even from the distance knows and notices every little detail, I havent seen anything like it yet... I'm very thankful for that... And I should be very grateful for my life and my health.... Me and him will always be connected, not only because we both have the same tattoo, but because I know we were really big and real for each other, more real than the real thing, lol...

If there's someone reading this is probably disgust by now, lol but this is my blog and I write what I want, suck it! =P we will love many other people in our life, but we will always be in each other's heart forever.... Even though we are not talking again (hahaha yes, I got upset) I know he knows what the deal is...

the sweetest thing!

For anyone that wants to see them here...

the stars are a copy from each other, same size, but different artist of course... mine added "his touch" with the dots cuz he thought it was gonna look better... asshole...

So this is my new entry

I think everybody knows.... But I feel so fat! lol and I just discovered that I gained more weight! (shame on me) But I have a new plan for that.... I don't know what was going on a month ago that I gained so much weight and I still have it even though I'm cooking more... I can't wear my favorite jeans and my dear shirt!.. And I just discovered that because i went to American Eagle the other day and the dress that I loved (and very expensive) was so fucking gorgeous, then I decided to try on and I was able to get in a size 6! can you believe it!!! SIZE 6!!!??? I was wooowwoww! Most of my dresses from there are 0 or XS, or maximum 2.... but 6!?? I refuse to wear a 6...

Everyday is a new day....

Everyday is a new day I always say (like the P.O.D song...) and I think they are totally right. Everyday is a new day like if it was another day of the week. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Everyday (the new day)... Got it?

I usually never know what day it is except when I check my work schedule but after, i really forget. For me every day is Everyday (and talking about that I don't have any everyday shoes that I wear every day? Why would a person wear the same shoes every day? Unless Everyday existed and I'd wear the same shoes on Everyday, haha...)

The difference between my days is what I do, who I meet and what happens every day. I barely feel that some days are another day because for me every day is always the same but not.

Maybe if I worked from Monday through Friday I'd notice the difference more because then I'd wait for every Friday to have a real weekend.

Today was Sunday and I really didn't know it was until I talked to Amanda (at 2am) and she told me she was hanging out (Amanda doesn't work on Sundays) so I assumed it was Sunday. It didn't feel like a Sunday to me or like any other day (what does a Sunday feels like?)

If every day was really the same, does that mean that I could make the same mistakes on Wednesdays and maybe fix it next one? Like in the groundhog day movie? That would be awesome. I would love to make some mistakes all over again every day!

I wonder if I'm lost in space? I wish every day was special and that Everyday was a real day, maybe I'd had more time.....

What to do, what to do....?

I see all the new blogs and they all look so cool and so bright lol, but I'm scared of starting to deal with that, hehehe I think I'll leave mine "vintage" and old school... Or is it too dark and too pink? Change template or not? That's the dilemma...

So, long story short...

I started writing my previous post "November craziness" it was so long cuz so many things happened that month that ay ay ay... So I never finished it or wrote the main idea... I started writing it because that month I "met" like 4 new people. In my mind that was the first time that I have seen them but all of them told me "Oh I see you almost everyday, and you always do this and blah blah blah" "I met you already in the first school meeting..." and I was sooo shock cuz I really didn't have them or their faces anywhere in my head, seriously for me it was the first time I've seen them in my life... And that has happened to me before that some people know a lot of stuff about me and I don't even know they exist, until one day they talk to me and tell me...

I know that I'm in the moon a lot, in my own little world, and I miss a lot of stuff going on around me, but I didn't mind cuz "eyes that don't see, heart that doesn't feel..." but this time I felt so bad because this people are awesome! In my mind I was "Wooooooow! This person is so cool, how could I've missed that?" I could have been sharing and having fun with this person a long time ago... I always hear "Oh I didn't talk to you before because you seem uptight... But obviously you are not" and I'm like "Duhhh" I still have to discover why I seem like and uptight person from the outside... Hello! I'm like the coolest thing in the world! ;-P

November Craziness!

Oh my old blog! It's been a loooong time since my last post!
Well, my life has changed a little bit and now I live in another country so I'll try to write in English! Lol, let's see how's that going to work... So excuse my grammar!

I have so much stuff and nothing going on at the same time, lol but my main reason of having a blog was because my psychologist recommended that I should write to get stuff out so I don't explode and kill everybody (that was in 2005)... Right now I feel I want to explode but amazingly enough I don't want to kill anybody (maybe make some suffer, but that's it) =P

I really don't care if anybody read this or not because this is my life, my world... But I know I have some curious friends, lol... So everybody feel free to leave a comment, you know how it is...

Ufff! I don't even know where to start! A lot lot lot weird, strange things happen to me all the time, but not so often one another... This month has been so long and cruuuuazy!

"I said ooh girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel"

Ok, I guess from day 1, right? So November 1st my dear old friend called and gave me the spark I was looking for to start thinking about moving from Orlando cuz I can't stand it anymore... Seriously, I really need a change, cuz this monotony is driving crazy... So I can't stop daydreaming about moving since then!

When you are not looking to be with someone they all rain at the same time, I don't know why... Hahaha I can sing "It's raining men, hallelujah, It's raining men! Amen!" NOT, lol, gayest song EVER! When you don't want anybody they all want to be with you at the same time, I wonder if the reason for that has to do with attitude or aura or something like that? Cuz I really don't understand... Ahh one more enigma of life...

One day I went to Pacsun (like I always do once a week) to see if I could see my friend that works there so he can tell me the deals, but he was working at AE that day... Well, I bought a pair of shoes and the girl that was ringing me was the girlfriend of my "friend" but I just had seen her on his facebook pics... Lol, I couldn't resist and I told her "You look like my friend's girlfriend!" "Do you know ...?" and she said "Yeah..." AWKWARD transaction! lol....

Anyyyywaaaaaaaays....... So I went with Johnny and Becky to this bar that we go really often (they more than I do..) (like those bar from Santiago that you always go and 80% of the time is the same people every Monday...)... I was super cute cuz Johnny did my hair! So I was dancing with this gay guy all night and then when I was going to the bathroom I saw this guy from Canada that I met online but not in person but I recognized him and it was super mega weird cuz I had never met him in person and we were both "Omg, wtf!!!??".. I totally forgot about the gay guy, cuz I was drunk and shocked, so I guess he found another dancing partner, lol then I was dancing with Canada guy for the rest of the night, he was so funny, like from a movie lol, I was having tons of fun until he grabbed my hand and took me to the photo booth and I was like "ohh but I don't have cash for pics!" but actually he tried to kiss me! When I saw his face getting closer to mine, I was so disgusted that I had to cover my mouth with my hands to stop the vomit from coming out then I ran to the bathroom to continue with the process, lol then I was hiding in there for like ten minutes until I thought he disappeared... I was so freaked out... Wow that night was very bizarre... Then the cherry on the top was that I didn't know where Becky was and Johnny had no cellphone and my cellphone was dead... So imagine that mess... Ughh Delete this Monday night please.... That's why I prefer to dance with the gay guys cuz there is no 2nd intentions...

Seriously, I don't understand guys in this country, If you are nice and cool 98% of the time they think you want something with them... Hell no... What about friendship? Lol...

Thursday I decided to talk to David again cuz I think he is an idiot and I had to tell him...


Then Friday (hahaha I'm not sure If I should tell this story...) I was on facebook (as usual..) and I was talking to ... (Pacsun's girl boyfriend) and he said "Oh we should hang out..." and I said "Oh ok sure, when?" and he said "mmm... now?" (it was like 11:30pm) I was like "...hmmm....well, ok..... I guess..." "Where are we going..??" and he said "I not sure where can we go at this time..." and he is a minor... I suggested the beach but of course! I would make any excuse to go to the beach at night cuz I just love it! That's the only place that the devil or the most disgusting person could be next to me and it wouldn't make a difference cuz I feel so peaceful and nice and connected to infinity, sky, moon, stars and the earth at the same time that I really have no words to explain how calm I feel and how much I enjoy it... Alone or with company I always take my cosmic energy from the beach at night, even the drive to it I love it... Don't know why...
Lol, anyways... Where was I? Ahh yeah, so when he got home it was almost like 1:00am and he said that he was too tired to drive to the beach (Bummer!) so we were driving around talking shit and making the most ridonculous lame jokes and some cool stories... Well, then we decided to take a walk (like at 3am!!!) and we were walking and talking, he was telling me he broke up with the Pacsun girl, and I was telling him about all my frustrated relationships when suddenly a huge dog starts barking, I almost had a heart attack... Lol... Obviously, we walked back to the car... The air was getting kinda weird and then he said that he liked me since the first time he saw me in the meetings (which I don't remember seen him before except that last meeting that I added him on facebook to post him some info...) and blah blah blah... I felt so bad cuz I don't notice people all the time and then one day they talk to me and I find them so cool and interesting and I feel I was wasting time and that I could have been enjoying conversations and exchanging ideas since a long time ago (I'm speaking in general...)... Anyways, it got really late so we went back to our houses. I was supposed to get up early to go to the wine and food festival early with the people from CS and then go to work...

The week is not over yet, MORE CRAZINESS to come... I think the real jokes of life started this day next...

It was Saturday and obviously when I got up it was almost time to go to work so it was too late to go to the Food and wine fest... While I was getting ready to go to work I received an email from an old perv from cs that was visiting here from England, lol (that's what I thought with that pic he has...) Inviting me to the concert that was after the fest... The bands that were going to play are horrible for me but I said to myself "why not? I'm bored so I'll get out of my cave do something different and go socialize with different people..." But then I was ugghh right, I dont have a car anymore... But he offered to pick me up....

I invited my other young friend to the concert so we could continue talking but he told me he couldnt even go to work cuz he was sick, so was not going... (I think that was the best thing that could had happend...)

Anyways, they went pick me up at work but the new manager took so long to finish closing the store that I got out super late... All that time we were communicating by texts so I never heard his voice until I saw him... Oh my gee, when I saw Damien, I was so Impressed because he looked reaaaaaaaally different from the pictures of his cs profile, and he was tall (he looks short on the pics and everybody knows how I feel about short guys..). They were so dressed up and I looked like a crazy person cuz I slept like 4 hours, was working all day, and I was going to a concert!!! hahaha
Even though I was understanding 35% of what he was saying I thought his accent was cute and funny (I forgot people from England had an accent)... Lol, I felt really bad cuz he had to repeat everything like 7 times and sometimes even his host had to translate cuz I was not getting it, so frustrating and funny, lol... hehehe we got to downtown and the concert was over!!!! Lol, we met other cs girl and we decided to go to Ibar... While walking to the bar the age conversation came up, hahaha I really thought he was like 30 something and I was actually older than him! I didn't believe him anyways so I told him to show me his ID, and he said he forgot it, obviously I thought he was joking... Anyways we finally got to the bar, we made the line, everybody was in except Damien cuz he really forgot his ID! Geez! Really?
We went to get his ID to UCF area, that is in the other part of town... I met his brother (minor, that also looks better in person, lol...). We decided to go to a bar close to UCF.. Wow that place was huge and crazy...

Ok ok okok to make the story shorter... We didn't stop talking and dancing all night long... We felt so connected like if we met each other at least months ago, we were so impressed with each other and it was so amazingly weird, like I've never met anyone in my life before... To make the story even shorter (cuz even me, I'm getting bored of writing) I thought it was love at first sight, but everything was an illusion, we went crazy for 4 days, we got crazy for each other, like never happened to me before, we made stupid ideas/plans for like 2 weeks, now he went back home, back to reality... and all the illusions/dreams/feelings are gone too... But it was amazing while it last...

I was so destroyed with David and Kenny that I forgot I could feel nice stuff again for another guy... Pero lo que rapido llega rapido se va... And it was just like that, amazingly intense (like me =p) beautiful and fleeting... BUT like the say, nothing is forever, I guess...

I believe that some people come to our lives at a certain time for some reason, even if they stay or go, they had a mission in your life at that moment... Maybe I'm not correct but I think I already know what Damien's purpose on my life was... And I think I should be thankful to God and the universe cuz at the beginning I was in denial and complaining that life is crazy and unfair and how sad I was and blah blah blah BUT now that I thought about it I have a different view and I learned... So life goes on, I'm not sad (unless i'm bullshitting myself..) and I don't even feel the pain of the others two... It's like if I have new eyes.....

Ok that's enough for tonight, and I still even haven't mention the reason for which I started to write on my blog again, lol... Maybe later....

Cuando será...?
Saturday, August 30, 2008 at 4:13am
...que me voy a librar de ti?

Espero con ansias el día que ya no te deba nada y no tengas que seguir siendo parte de mi vida... Creeme que ese será uno de los días más felices...

Que rabia me da conmigo misma por no haberte escuchado al principio... Y 5 años mas tarde, ahora es que me doy cuenta que tenías razón en lo que decías... Ahora es que vengo a entender que nadie cambia realmente, se modifican, pero la escencia es la misma... 5 años más tarde es que sé que desperdicié de los mejores 4 de mi vida y que no valió la pena ni un solo día... Yo misma no puedo creer cómo acepté todas las condiciones y aguanté todas las situaciones...Eso tampoco me lo voy a perdonar, y a ti menos...

Espero que llegues muy lejos como sueñas con tu arrogancia estúpida... También espero que nunca tenga que volver a ver tu cara, ni escuchar tu nombre... No te odio, por que ni eso esperes de mí, me das lástima, por que eres una persona tan brillante y podrida a la vez, y lo peor es que tú lo sabes y te gusta ser así y cada día te la pasas tratando de ser peor (mejor, según tú) por un odio y una rabia absurda, que el resto del mundo no tiene idea y mucho menos la culpa, pero "todos pagarán"... Vete mucho a la mierda, imbécil...

If some people could just know what their words can mean or do to another person…
If they could just know that their words can change a person’s world, a person’s point of view…
Words, good or bad, can make a big difference in a life…
words can hurt… words can make a person happy…. or sad… very sad…. Words can make you life bitter…
Words can make big scars… and words can also heal them…
It doesn’t matter if you hear them or if you see them written….
Words, words, words…
Words can just mean nothing sometimes…….
Sometimes it doesn’t matter if the words are from a person you know or you don’t know, sometimes words can change your whole life…
Words, you can take them… or you can just forget them…
blah blah blah….
If you could just know how your words inspire me and make me keep the faith…
If you could just know that sometimes when you give me your words you make me feel alive… Yes, just with your words… For now…
Also if you could know that sometimes, with your words, you make me feel scared of you…
with your words you make feel that I’m just a dreamer… that everything it’s just a dream…
If you could just know all the times that you made me feel happy, loved, desired, special, beautiful, a princess, strong, hopeful, full…
But, do you remember the time that with your words you made me feel miserable, insignificant, insane, sad, angry, stupid, worthless, evil, just horrible?…
In that time I didn’t know what was best, if your silence or your words….
Different people, different words…
Different meanings…
Different impacts…
Different lifes...
Different hopes…
Different changes….
What does my word mean to others?

Cuantas posibilidades hay?

+Text message from Unknown number:
-Sarai?

+Text message from Unknown number:
-U working?

+My Reply:
-Who is this? I dont Work...

*Called the number, nobody picked up...*

+Sent a Text msg to unknown number again:
-Who are you!??? You dont have your name in your voicemail...

+Text message from Unknown number:
-Sorry about that, its me Emo. Just wanted to say that i have a show at Laundry Bar today. See you there.

+My Reply:
-Haha! Emo!? Daniel Emo? Im lost here, i dont know who you are....

+Text message from Unknown number:
-Emerson nerd. I saw you guys eating at flanigan's the other day and i forgot to tell you guys about my show tonight

+My Reply:
-What!?? I dont know what you are talking about... :-(
I gave you my number?

*waiting....waiting...waiting.... nothing happens...*

+Sent a Text msg to unknown number again:
- Can you call me and explain me please, im very curious and i need to know, sorry to bother...

*10 minutes later*

*ring....ring.... ring...*

- Hello?
- Yes, its me Emerson!
- I dont know you...
- Sorry, i think i got the wrong number...
- But you said my name!!
- Dont you work at flanigans?
- I used to work there, but that was 2 years ago... Who gave you this number?
- Martin..
- whoo!?? hahaha i dont know anybody with that name, and yours...
- Oh! Sorry, i think i got the wrong number!
- Ok, no problem...

******** O sea!**********

Cuantas posibilidades y probabilidades hay de que una gente llame a un numero equivocado, y ke este llamando a una persona con el mismo nombre y que trabajaba en el mismo sitio pero en anios diferentes!!!!!!??????

O sea:

1. Mi numero de celular es nuevo...
2. Nadie de flanigan's lo tiene...
3. No hay muchas "Sarais" en este pais (ke tu me digas ke me llamo juana o maria..)
4. Yo no conozco ningun Martin y mucho menos a un Emerson!
5. Yo tengo 2 anios ke no voy a ese lugar...
6. Flanigan's es una cadena de bares en la florida entera! Sabra Dios de cual el estaba hablando!

Mi pregunta es: Como konsiguio Martin mi numero!??? Y si se lo dio ekivokado! Ke maldita Coincidencia que precisamente era de una Sarai!

hehehe A que show era que me estaba invitando?

Soufflé de Pollo

"Elaboración:

Quitar la piel y los huesos al pollo y picarlo. Engrasar un molde refractario para soufflé y remojar las migas de pan en la leche.
Calentar el aceite en una sartén, añadir la cebolla, el apio y los champiñones, picados; y rehogar hasta que la cebolla esté dorada..." Blah Blah Blah!

Asi es mi vida ahora.....

Si alguien se pudiera entrar dentro de mi y ver todo como esta por dentro hehehe lo mas seguro se enkuentra con 3 espacios... En el primero, ke es pekenio, pero aveces se kiere hacer grande, este esta pintado de gris con par de puntos amarillos, pero claro! No lo pinte yo! Se puso asi solito... Lo ke pasa es ke en ese ladito estan las kosas ke deje atras, en otro mundo, los puntos amarillos son los ke se van a kedar para siempre espero!

Despues esta el 2do lado, ke es el del medio jijiji, aki esta lo de ahora, no hay ni un punto gris, aunke hay muchos kolores, hasta el negro, pero no hay espacio pal gris hehehe ya no cabeeee! Bueje Bueje... eee... ok.... Y en el Ultimo Solo hay 4 kolores: Verde, rosado fucsia, azul y amarillo!..

Ok... Hablando en espaniol. Tenia mucho tiempo ke no me desajogaba... Pero hoy komo ke me invadio la vaina y tengo ke hacerlo aki por ke no kiero decirlo a nadie, hehehe aunke despues alguien lo leera, pero ya no me voy a sentir igual....

Este fin de semana estaba visitando a unos amigos en Texas, y me fue super cheverisisimo, y keseyo, hasta vine super mas inspirada para seguir adelante kon mi vida, aunke yo desde ke sali de RD se lo ke kiero y por primera vez en mi vida tengo una meta y toy haciendo todo lo posible por kumplirla... Na el chin es ke komo ke tanta emocion palla y keseyo kompartir kon mis amigos y todo tan nice, hoy siento un pokito el vacio y ta luchando, pero yo no no kiero, hoy es el primer dia ke dejo ke salga el sentimiento de ke extranio a mis seres keridos ke se kedaron por alla, y ke ahora me siento un pokito sola, hehehe me hubiera gustado kedarme en Texas! Pero na volver pa la realidad... Por lo menos los muchachos de texas me dan mas motivacion y fuerzas para mi meta... Y na lo ke hago todos los dias y me keda es no pensar en eso, y enfocarme en la vaina para despues poder disfrutar con todos mas adelante! Hoy me voy a permitir llorar todo lo ke pueda y extraniar a todos, hehehe aunke no resuelve nada, pero me hace sentir mas aliviada, maniana sera otro dia, y todo esto se olvida... Lol Gracias a Dios ke no deje ningun amor palla, por ke ahi si estuviera muy mal deseguro...

Este anio, por ahora, me siento muy bien, muy feliz, y kon todo el deseo del mundo de superarme y no kedarme estankada y a dejar de perder el tiempo komo yo siempre hago... Podria decirce ke me siento komo una persona nueva, full, hasta ni yo me konozco aveces hehe kon mi nueva perspectiva... Ahora tengo los pies un pokito atados, pero yo se ke eso se resolvera muy pronto, y voy a poder volar komo una mariposa por los aires abriendo sus alas y blah blah blah jajaja ke kursi, but is true... lol

No voy a parar hasta konseguir todo lo ke kiero!!!!! Y Yo lo kiero TodooOoo! Muajajajajajajajaja! Mua! Mua! Muajajajajajajaja!

hehehe na, la vida ke yo kiero, y komo me veo en el futuro, no la konseguire trabajando en una tienda o un restaurant, so hay ke fajarse ahora para disfrutar despues!

Mi uniko problema ahora mismo ke le veo un pokito lejos la solucion es ke toy super gorda! Como nunka en mi vida! 120 libras (y kuidao)!! Esto es increible! Y eso ke kompro todo dike low fat y light y komo pokito y kada dia ke pasa peso mas y mas! hahhaha ke pesadilla! Y la flojera ke me da diske hacer ejercicios... Kreo ke ubicare una escuela de karate...



Na estas son mis choko aventuras por ahora... jejeje You are updated!

The Mutter M.

Estaba yo entrando por la puerta grande y fea, (yo tenia mucho miedo y sentia mucho asko) entonces me tuve ke hacer a un lado por ke venia un entierro y las personas no me dejaban pasar. Yo no se, pero ese y todos los entierros ke estaban sucediendo en ese momento komo ke eran super raros, asi todos vestidos de negro, todos kon cara seria, pero nadie lloraba.

Me pare frente a la Iglesia del cementerio/universidad a ver si veia a alguien konocido, habia ke hacer silencio, bueno en realidad todo estaba en silencio. No vi a nadie.

Recorde ke en el edificio del frente ke esta al lado de la Iglesia del cementerio/universidad, en el 5to piso, ahi siempre estaban todos mis kompanieros de clase.

Trate de subir lo mas pronto posible, no keria tokar nada, todo me daba asko, y lo ke mas keria era buskar a alguien (no se para ke) y salir de ahi lo mas pronto posible. Cuando llegue al 5to piso, estaban haciendo un experimento, no podia hablarle a nadie, todos estaban muy concentrados y ademas conocido solo vi a Miguel, pero el no me vio. Baje rapidisimo por todas las eskaleras hasta ke sali de ese edificio, se me olvido ke buskaba, entonces decidi marcharme.

Cuando iba por la parte de atras de la iglesia, para salirme/fugarme (no se por ke), iba otro maldito entierro y no me dejaban pasar, aparte de los elefantes desnutridos y gigantescos, este parecia ke era un entierro de alguien importante por ke habia mas personas. Ese camino era el mas akeroso, por ke no habia cemento y todo era de piedras, lodo, arboles y pasaba un rio blanko de excremento de los elefantes, para pasar por todo eso tenia ke volarme muchos charkos de excremento...

Cuando al fin llegue al callejon ke daba a la salida, venia entrando por ahi un grupo de estudiantes, eran mis kompanieros y mi profesor, me kole y logre salir.

Cuando sali del kallejon pase por una kancha y habian unos tipos jugando basketball y fumando mariguana. Habia uno de los tigres ke taba buenisimo. Bajando por ahi me resbale, jejeje, es ke yo no se por ke ese cementerio/universidad y esa cancha siempre estan humedos, komo si akabara de llover durisimo siempre... (sera por el excremento blanko y aguado de los elefantes?)keseyo...

Na, ya kasi llegue a mi destino, entonces sono mi celular y era Fernando (El meng) y me desperto. Me pregunto ke kual era la pagina ke habia hecho ke pusimos las fotos de Jarabacoa, ke Don Julio ya hacia komo un anio habia borrado sin decir na... jeje Na, entonces le agradeci por despertarme de mi pesadilla, por ke estaba muy askerosa y fea...

Yo estoy muy segura ke me sonie mi pesadilla por ke minutos antes de dormir estaba viendo un documental del Mutter Museum de Pennsylvania, por cierto taba interesantisimo y tenebroso jejeje. Es un museo de medicina de deformaciones y casos increibles de la naturaleza, todos los ejemplos ke hay son originales y REALES del kuerpo Humano. Un lugar donde no me gustaria entrar nunka, para nada, gracias. No me gusta el olor a formol, me da nauseas. Ah y Pennsylvania ese nombre me kausa un pokito de miedo, por ke me rekuerda a Transylvania, la ciudad de donde era Dracula y un viaje de Vampiritos, y la kancion de Marilyn Manson y Rasputina ke se llama "Transylvanian Concubine". Una cancion bien rara y oskura jejeje... Y Rasputina ni se diga...




Aki ta el link del museo: http://www.collphyphil.org/mutter.asp

Love fool

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
That I ought to stick to another man
A man that surely deserves me, but I think you do

So I cry, and I pray, and I beg

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me

So I cry and I pray for you to

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way to make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray, and I beg

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me

So I cry, and I beg for you to

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you (anything but you)

Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Buen, hay ke kitar el polvo aki y empezar a akotejar de nuevo...

Ay pobre de mi blog! Kuanto tiempo! Diras ke solo te escribo kuando tengo problemas y estoy triste, imaginate, pero tu eres el uniko ke no me pone kara jejeje ni me dices nada! Muahh por eso te kiero! Ay blogsito, si tu supieras todas las kosas desde ese ultimo dia... jejeje Na mas adelante...

How about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Im sick and tired of everything, of every body.. Arrrrgggg hehehe i dont know what to do! im lost again in my self....

Talvez estoy siendo injusta kon personas ke no se lo merecen, pero de verdad me da igual, no sé, aveces la gente se kree ke uno tiene ke ser perfecto y una virgen maría y aguantarle to la mierda a to el mundo, but right now i dont feel like it, toy jarta de aguantarle la mierda a la misma gente siempre, las mismas ñoñerias y adaptarme al otro o a la komodidad de otro, comerme to los kuentos ke a par de pendejos le de la gana y ke saben ke me lo tengo ke aguantar para llevar la fiesta en paz, toy jarta de la gente ke se desaparece y aparece kuando le da la gana komo si nada hubiera pasado, pero no sé k ese joda to y to esa vaina, al ke le importe ke me buske o ke se vaya por ahí mismito, yo no le voy a kaer atras a nadie... Nada de lo ke hago parece ser lo korrecto, i dont know what to do or say, komo kiera es una porkeria... SOOO: Everybody can kiss my ass several times...

How does it feel like, to let forever be?

Wow hoy fue una de las noches más placenteras de mi vida entera kasi, voy a recordar esta noche por mucho tiempo! (nada de sexo porsiakaso) Osea más no se podía pedir, era komo perfecto, increiblemente increible y lindo :) ay Diosh, creo ke tengo mal de amore.... ke bien me siento, kon mucha paz :)

How does it feel like, to wake up in the sun?
How does it feel like, to shine on everyone?
How does it feel like, to let forever be?
How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
The stream of sympathy...
How does it feel like, to sail in on the breeze?
How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
The stream of sympathy...
How does it feel like, to make it happening?
How does it feel like, to breathe with everything?
How does it feel like, to let forever be?
How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
The stream of sympathy...
How does it feel like, to be a crystal fiend?
How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
The stream of sympathy...

Super Nutritiiiiivoooooooooooo! jejeje

Ay aki rekordando a mi kerido amigo Julio ke ahora todos los fines de semana le ha kogido kon irse pa puerto plata y abandonarme jejeje, no tengo kon kien chismear ke no le tenga ke kontar todo desde el principio :P.... Pero na eso es bueno para él por ke ta haciendo algo ke le gusta jejee y no ta pensando kosas ke lo mortifican al pobre jejeje ok ya basta de la vida privada de mi maningolitop!

Ok ayer fue un día medio horrible, en el trabajo me kansé mucho, tenia mucho estres y kería salir rápido y pal kolmo taba explikando todo lo ke hacía a un nuevo kompañero, ke por cierto, espero ke no tenga ke kompartir mi pekeño espacio...

Despues pasé por la óptica a rekoger mis nuevos lentes rosados en su estuche rosado jeje si, me recetaron lentes por ke tengo hipermetropía, osea eso es dike los ojos más pekeños de lo normal... Ke kosas no? Yo kon estos ojotes :P y na por ahi me kedé viendo tiendas y ya se imaginan lo ke pasó....

despues llegué a mi kasa super hiper mega rekete kontra kansada, loka por ke me añoñaran y me dieran un masaje hehehe y kon ganas de ver a mi "amigo" ex- love .... y kOMO la karne es débil, yo soy débil, me hacía mucha falta, no lo pensé 2 veces y lo llamé y vino... Y como los 2 somos 2 perfectos idiotas y siempre se nos olvida lo ke nos molesta estar juntos pero sepa/rados y kon un blokeo en el medio, y ke siempre a lo primero es risas, abrazos, mimos etcc... pero despues pensamos o yo pienso ke no kiero volver a la misma kosa entonces me blokeo y me pongo hostil y todo se pone gris y llega el momento ke los 2 odiamos, ke keremos evitar, pero ke siempre llega, komo si nunka se va a ir, es inevitable, el momento ke diskutimos sin llegar a ningun lado, diciendo las kosas ke nos disgutan pero ke sabemos ke no van a kambiar, diskutiendo para nada, por ke no hay solución, la únika solución es la más horrible, la ke nadie kiere pero la ke se debería de tomar... Cada vez ke llega ese momento me gustaría komo ke viniera un ovni y me llevara y me sakara el cerebro y me lo lavara con jabón antibacterial kon olor a medicina y a limpio y me lo estregara bien para sakar el sucio, las impurezas, los malos ratos y rekuerdos, mis angustias, mis rabias, mis temores, mis sueños ke solo seran sueños, mis anhelos, mis ilusiones...Entonces ke me lo tendiese a las 12 cuando el sol pika más, pa ke se eskurra y se seke bien y no le kede nada tóxico, entonces después me lo regresase y tenga un nuevo cerebro o por lo menos limpio y formateado :P pero no es así, llega otro de los momentos ke más odio, la discusión llega a su momento kumbre en ke nadie la soporta, es demasiado venenosa e intolerable, en el momento ke uno de los 2 tiene ke estallar y huir, y el otro komo un idiota observando lleno de orgullo pensando ke esto jamás akabará, ke talvez esta si es la vencida... Se fue... Me kedo jugando kon mis 2 hilitos, komo siempre, tratando de ke mi juego sea super entretenido, para no mirar por la ventana y ver su karita de cachorrito triste ke me dice te kiero, ke puedo hacer?, cuando mira para arriba a ver si lo veo partir, como de kostumbre... Entonces me sube una sensacion de angustia por todo el kuerpo y digo ke tengo ke mirar, y miro, pero ya es tarde, ya se fue... Y si esta vez es para siempre? ke horror, trato de pensar en una solución, tambien pienso lo ke dije y lo ke no debí de decir.... doy par de vueltas por la kasa esperando a ke él llegue a la suya... Lo llamo.... Está super enojado, pensado ke lo he traicionado y utilizado, dispuesto a ke tiene ke ser fuerte y ke ya si se tiene ke akabar...Lloro de impotencia y rabia... Yo realmente estoy harta de lo mismo, estamos hartos de lo mismo, es insoportable, pero yo no kiero ke akabe así perramente, no kiero ke la únika solución sea ke no hablemos más ni nos veamos más... Por ke todo tiene ke ser tan drástico?..... Salgo de mi kasa a despejar la mente kon mis amigos...Y adivinen ke? jajaja Había algo en el aire, será el frio? y pal kolmo ahí estaba mi nuevo amor platonico, jejeje El eslabon perdido kon su enamorada novia! Kien no? lol y na...


Hoy mientras me lavaba el pelo (jajaja ke coincidencia) creo ke enkontré la solución.... Y se la voy a proponer.... Aunke no esta totalmente concreta.... ESta creo ke funcionará, espero ke no perjudike el futuro ni a nadie.....

Hoy alguien ke nunka lo habia dicho dijo ke me kiere... Ke extraño... eee.... jmmmm....

Hoy escuché un mensaje en mi cel de alguien ke me gusta escuchar, pero nunka sé ké decirle, y me angustia... Lo llamé. Pasó lo mismo. Nada ke decir. Traté de hacer ke la llamada fuera lo más breve posible por ke me inkomoda un poko la situación kon esa persona, komo ke hay algo ke no sé ke es, pero esa persona me alegra pero me regresa a la realidad, me pone en una, siento komo ke hay algo inkonkluso, aveces me siento komo ke kada vez ke hablo kon él estoy komo en un espejo, y no me gusta.... Siento komo si esa persona kisiera decir algo, pero se arrepiente o el orgullo no lo deja. Cuando escuché el mensaje se oia ke kería decir algo, se oía komo perdido, triste y desilucionado... Ke mal...

Ye sui tre bian!

jejeje clases de frances a' la Sarai! :P

Hey mi rapioamiguitos! tenia mucho ke no venia a escribir, y ni se imaginan todo lo ke ha pasado!!!!!!!!! Pero klaro ke no lo puedo kontar todo! pero voy a hacer un breve resumen!
OK.. aki les va

Primero ya kreo ke salí de mi círculo vicioso, y eso, no fui yo ke tomé la iniciativa, fue él ke lo hizo.. jejej klaro volvimos a meter un pie en el hoyo, pero rapidamente lo pude sakar otra vez antes de ke me terminara de kaer, no voy a mentir, me está kostando muchisisimo trabajo, pero kon un poko de fuerza de voluntad kasi lo estoy logrando y pienso menos y lo extraño menos y él sigue haciendo kosas ke me decepcionan y eso me ayuda muchisimo a sakarmelo más pronto! Yayyy! Good Work! tamo kasi listo!...

La verdad es ke despues de ese domingo me regresó kasi un 85% de mi paz mental, yo no sabía ke esa situacion me tomaba tanta energía, paz, humor etc... Me he sentido mucho mejor, komo si me kitaran un sako de mis hombros...

Na me está yendo super bien en mi trabajo, aunke kada día es una nueva misión y más problemas por resolver jejeje pero eso nunka lo hace aburrido :)

Ay! El otro día fui a garach casi por error y vi un eslabon perdido ke me volvió loka jejeje kasi me derrito, ke tipo ke esta bueno (klaro para mi gusto) así komo me gustan, pajonuses, altos, flakos, blankitos y kon una chiva bien negra y sexi jeje y cero bozos :P jajaja pero lamentablemente el día ke hicimos un plan para ke mi amigo me lo presentara el kondenado fue kon la jeva! lol (más rara ke él porcierto)... Y na barajado :P

También me presentaron un gringo muy lindo, pero demasiado rubio y zanganito y le kreyó a mi amiga ke yo era dike maxicana...?????... ehhhh.. I dont do blonds... Barajado también... :P

Na mañana e dike día de san valentin jejeje y na no sé toy emocionada, en el trabajo vamos a hacer un angelito amiguistiko jijiji y na yo gozo mucho en mi trabajo, me gusta y mis kompañeros son muy chéveres jejeje...

Hoy konocí a mi madrina,la última vez ke la vi fue kuando no tenia uso de razón y ella es muy chevere me kayó muy bien y me dio dinero para komprarme mis lentes nuevos ke son chilisimos! Yayy! (klaro no por eso me cae bien) muy buena onda ella! Y na toy hablando kon mi amigo Carlos ke lo kiero muchisimo y lo extraño mucho y eso me pone muy feliz jejeje

Por otro lado estaba hablando kon Roslyn, ke por cierto ella estudia lo mismo ke yo estudiaba y no sé komo ke me entró el espíritu de superacion jejeje y me dieron ganas de volver a la uni así full aki, pero no sé todavía kejeyo, pero toy super motivada!

Y na muchisimas kosas massss pero no akabaria nunka! El chin es ke por ahora no tengo ni un motivito ni 25 chele para estar triste! Yayyy! Hip Hip Hurra!